Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
