Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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