If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
