Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
