oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
