you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
