I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize