Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need to calm my uterus...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
