So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize