me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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