Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we should paint friendship bongs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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