drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
