It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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