I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We had sex on a dog bed..
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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