it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
