she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
