Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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