Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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