We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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