I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
