yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
