Since when is my name a synonym for head?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
