The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
