i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize