just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you never un-have a 4some
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
