maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
