you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
