I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
