its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
