the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
