when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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