i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
