So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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