You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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