You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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