if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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