it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
