Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
