Your face is a jimmy john
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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