she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize