Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
