When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
