her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
