4 words: hood of his car
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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