I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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