Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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