something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
