he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
