you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
