Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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