had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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