we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Farmville is her only friend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
