The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
