just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
