he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
