I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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