He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
