found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
