We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
