I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
